so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
