I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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