I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
