You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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