Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
