I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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