she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
