he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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