no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
