Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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