And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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