It's Friday. Sex?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
