We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
