He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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