he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
