these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
someone owes me an orgasm
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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