Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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