Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
