My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
