i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
