he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves