After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.