my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.