Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He told me they were just razor bumps!
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.