Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
