hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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