I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize