Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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