16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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