So drunk, too bad you don't want this
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize