Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
