Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize