the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
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My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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