Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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