Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
