i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
