Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
