i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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