And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
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So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
should my penis look like a turkey
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.