i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Everclear isn't food dammit