Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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(760): View more from California

We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it was like getting a handjob from robocop

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E

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