I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize