I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
