i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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