Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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