I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
