Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
