I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
