forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
