Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He passed out mid-signature
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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