i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
