Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
