i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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