Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
