i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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