guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
