I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
