you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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