It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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