she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
