All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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